


wasting time waiting

by Glaux_Bryonia



Category: Shaman King
Genre: Gen, Humor, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-15
Updated: 2012-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-26 02:09:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glaux_Bryonia/pseuds/Glaux_Bryonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hao has to wait until the Shaman Fight starts again and he's bored. To bad other people have to be on the receiving end of his boredom...</p>
            </blockquote>





	wasting time waiting

The five year old child wasn’t in a good mood. Taking a walk had never turned out to be this annoying before.

He could literally  hear how the whispers started just about two meters ahead of him and continued for several minutes after he passed. Inwardly he grumbled in irritation at the stares, the pointing fingers and above all, all the stupid women who would ask him idiotic questions like ‘Are you alone?’ and ‘Where are your parents?’ with a high pitched, _cooing_ voice; as if they where talking to a little, retarded kid!

…

Well, okay. Maybe he was a little kid, but that still didn’t mean he was retarded, so really, they shouldn’t speak to him like that. By the way, where they stupid or something? No self-respecting kid would appreciate anyone EVER treating him like a freaking _baby_! Absently he wondered what made females act like they had some serious brain damage whenever they saw a young child.

He frowned. Now that he thought about it, it seemed the women nowadays where far worse than the women he met in his previous lives. Maybe because they where so horrifyingly _pampered_ compared to the women he had known.

I mean, look at them! Instead of working for a living, they flaunt the streets like whores, acting like nobility with their boasting and stuck up attitudes towards anything they don’t deem worthy of their time.

He winched as a group of teenage girls nearby made a racket with their loud talking and shrill laughter. _Not to mention their complete lack of decent behavior._

“OH MY! Look what a cutie! That poor sweetheart is all alone! Oh dear, look at him, look!”

Hao froze. They didn’t mean him, did they? If they did then he couldn’t be held responsible for any possible violent outcomes…

Counting inwardly to stay calm, he slowly looked to his right to see a fat, middle-aged woman with _way_ to much paint on her face waddling his way with remarkable speed, dragging a thin, stupidly grinning man along. _That man looks like a complete idiot._ He thought. That thought was confirmed when the man happily nodded at everything fat woman said, even when it was complete nonsense.

“Oh my, oh my! You‘re even cuter up close! Look at that adorable, plumb little face and those cute chubby little hands, dear! Isn’t he like, the perfect little doll?! Oh and look! He‘s wearing such a charming little star-cape. Are you playing a hero sweetie? Oh, do you see that dear? He thinks he‘s a cute little hero!” the woman’s acrid voice and earsplitting squeals made his head hurt and his temper rise. A dark red vein started to pulse on his temple as his irritation rose to dangerous levels. Counting couldn’t save her, this woman proved his point _exactly_. Really how stupid was she? He wore a _poncho_ , not a _cape_!

The woman proved herself to be even more stupid than he had assumed by having the gall to try to pinch his cheeks. His temper instantly reached lethal levels and a huge explosion tore half of the street apart, including the annoying woman and her human pet.

As the dust and smoke slowly started to settle Hao looked around in satisfaction. He felt a lot calmer now he’d given air to his frustration. The softly smoldering remains of several dozens of humans didn’t bother him, only the smell of them did. He quickly teleported himself away from the area before the air cleared enough for the other humans to see him. It was possible that some people would try to ask annoying questions when they saw that the only survivor was a five year old, who was, mysteriously, completely unharmed.

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Hao was smiling. Thinking about the ‘incident’ he caused, he had to suppress a laugh to not disturb the cat lying in his lap. He had found the spotted feline abandoned in a alley with a injured leg and had decided to take it with him. Healing the injury had been child’s play and now the small animal was sleeping after eating the cat food Hao had bought for it. Luckily the elderly woman at the counter had talked to him in a normal voice and had treated him professionally, like you would expect from a shopkeeper.

Thinking back, he shook his head. That fat lady on the street had had it coming, treating him as if he was her own. He couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about killing the bystanders either. _They deserved it as well, seeing how bad humanity treats Nature._ Again he smiled softly at his own thoughts.

Enjoying the satisfied feeling of a job well done, he basked in the beauty and tranquility of the enormous park he had fled to when the noise of the city became to much. This part of the park was rarely visited, seeing as everything was completely overgrown and flourishing. The only sign of human activity was the asphalt path about two hundred meters behind him, but he had made sure he didn’t have to look at it.

The peaceful silence was shattered as he heard people approach with blaring music while one of them talked loudly to the other.

Again the vein popped up on his temple and he had to grit his teeth to not immediately murder the imbeciles on the spot. With the utmost care he placed the sleeping cat on the ground and stood up to give them a piece of his mind. Never mind the fact that he was probably not even half the size of one of the people approaching, he just wanted to yell at something before he drew to much unwanted attention to himself by causing _another_ massacre.

He took a deep breath and turned to start his tirade, but could only blink in surprise as he saw just one human walking in his direction over the path. _Who the hell is that guy talking to?_ He concentrated, using his shamanic abilities to look for any ghosts nearby, but he didn’t sense anyone.

He frowned confused. Maybe the guy was crazy and talking to himself? If so, he was probably deaf seeing how loud he was. Suddenly his eye fell on a strange, rectangular device the teen held against his face. He remembered seeing it on the streets as well but at that moment, he had brushed it off as another strange fashion hype. During his first life it there was a fashion style that required women to have their hands constantly occupied with a painted fan. This one hadn’t seemed more ridiculous than that one. Now he wondered if there might be a meaning behind the awkward looking behavior.

A memory from five hundred years ago resurfaced. During that Shaman Fight, all Judges had an Oracle Bell, which could be used to speak with people over great distances. Maybe the humans developed a similar mechanism.

The more he thought about it, the more he considered it a plausible explanation. Time to figure out how this human device exactly worked. There was a chance he could get some entertainment out of it…

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

A few months later Hao was lying on a big, flat rock in the middle of a roaring river. He was bored out of his mind.

Normally he spend this part of the day watching Yoh make a mess out of his shaman training. He had quite a collection of amusing memories of Yoh getting himself into trouble because he didn’t listen. Unfortunately, a few days ago Yoh had started to put some effort in it after hearing about the Shaman Fight, and he really didn’t feel like watching the age old exercises _again_. After all, he had had to go through the whole series two times himself thanks to his two lives, _and_ he had helped a few dozen of his students to do the same during his first life.

So yeah, those exercises really weren’t something he wanted to see, but now he had to find something else to amuse himself with. Thinking back to his trip to the city he suddenly knew what he could do. A giggle escaped him.

This would be so much fun!

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Silence reigned. This was a border, unlike any human border. On one side, like a gentle fog, there was a misty blue which became darker the closer it got. On the other side, not a trace of blue was left. Here was only darkness, with small, nearly blinding pinpricks of light. This was the thermosphere, the outermost layer of the atmosphere that protected Earth.

Here, a infinitely small flame erupted, like a new star that choose to be even closer to the blue planet than the star humans called the Sun.

Surrounded by the dancing flames, Hao floated in the air, looking down on the world below from a dazzling height of  ninety miles above sea level. For a while he just watched the snow white clouds draw abstract patterns across the planets surface before turning his eyes to the darkness above him. Slowly he rose into the emptiness, protecting himself from the devastating effects of outer space and unrestrained sunlight by creating a powerful shield with his furyoku; a shield also provided air and warmth so he wouldn’t choke or freeze to death.

He smiled. He loved this ability, which was a testament to the power and skill that had earned him the title of Dai-onmyouji. He greatly enjoyed using it to gaze at the world from a point that was only reserved for very, very few people and absolutely hated the fact that humans had managed to get here as well. It should have stayed a reward for only those that truly understood nature, like onmyouji.

 _Well, maybe I can see this little trip as a way of punishing them then._ he mused.

Using the oversoul of the Spirit of Fire, he propelled himself forward, quickly reaching a speed that would have been nearly impossible on Earth. He flew until he reached the height where he should be able to find what he was looking for. Now the game could begin.

Somewhere in the distance, sunlight reflected from a smooth surface, illuminating the floating metal monster that was one of the most important satellites of a phone company Hao hadn’t bothered to remember. If the salesman in that ugly store had spoken the truth, then this was the key to sabotage those so called ‘mobile phones’. he grinned. Merely _imagining_ the faces of the humans made him giddy. He was really going to enjoy bullying them!

Quickly he looked around and spotted another satellite not that far away. Using his gigantic Spirit, he grabbed the first one and catapulted it at the other one. Somewhere down below, in the control room of the company, dozens of tiny red lights started to flicker.

The two machines collided with tremendous speed, completely shattering on impact. The effect was beautiful. A rain of glistering fragments shot out at all sides, making it seem like a huge piece of firework went off.

Hao laughed. With one flick of his wrist and a little bit of furyoku he sent all fragments towards earth to burn upon entering the atmosphere. couldn’t allow them to pollute outer space now could he?

Exited by his little game, he set out to find another pair of satellites to demolish.

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Over the whole planet, the enraged screams of humanity could be heard when the people discovered none of their phones where functioning, and somewhere, in a room far below the playing shaman, people looked in horror and disbelieve at some of the last images one of the destroyed satellites had managed to make. In the low quality picture, a young child in a star poncho could be seen…

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Hao was laughing his ass off. What a wonderful game it was, to kill time with!

Little did he know he sabotaged far more than just the phone network, like internet and certain military projects. Then again, even if he did realize, it would have only made the game even _more_ fun…

**Author's Note:**

> for those that want to know, the thermosphere is the last layer of the atmosphere, which is divided into four distinct layers. Starting from the earths surface, you have the troposphere, the stratosphere, the mesosphere and the thermosphere. And those who say Hao isn’t able to enter Space: in the manga he could, so here he can as well (he entered a chamber which imitated the conditions of outer space). He’s also capable of reading thoughts.
> 
> In case someone doesn’t know what I mean with ‘Dai-onmyouji’: onmyouji = ying-yang master. Dai = grand/master; I couldn’t find a direct translation but roughly put, it means he’s far more powerful than an ordinary onmyouji. In the manga they refered to Hao as a Dai-onmyouji. (in the Inuyasha series, there was Sesshoumaru, who was a Dai-youkai, which was translated in English as a Demon Lord. This just to give you an idea of how the word ‘Dai’ can be used)
> 
> Also, some of you might wonder why I used words like ‘paint’ (instead of ‘make-up’). Well, Hao is 1000 years old, so his vocabulary is probably a bit different from time to time.
> 
> That being said, this was written for SK-fan7’s contest ‘Let’s make writing more fun!’ on fanfiction. I got the inspiration at two am in the morning, when rereading the manga. Though I’m not entirely sure about this one, the deadline came up so here it is. Hope you enjoyed and constructive critisism is welcome!


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